reveals the heart — aint that the TRUUUUUUTH
After walking with the Lord for __ years, i think i know who i am. who i am to my Father. Yes, deeper revelations come and are sealed on my heart time and time again because He loves to walk with us and share in the glory/failures/hardships/joy.. He’s asked and keeps asking me – DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? And then He shows me! Simply because I ask and it moves His heart for us to commune and ..enjoy each other. He is my Beloved and i am His.
But I keep running into this question: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE & HOW I SEE YOU?
I’m so ruined by His love for me.. and i keep coming to this place where I feel the love oozing and running through me. But more than an experiential and momentary “feeling.” He’s asking do i KNOW.. cause if you KNOW, you’d walk in it. I was asking the Lord to reveal His heart for me the other day in the prayer room. So i closed my eyes.. and imagined the eyes of Jesus, so full of compassion & fire. He showed me this grain of sand put into an oyster — and He shows me the pearl that took so much time, care, and sensitivity and HE’S SO GIDDYY. And then He takes it.. so jealously, and HIDES it into His heart. I wasn’t moved to tears.. i def did agree in my spirit, but i didn’t FEEL like that pearl. But He said: “thats just who you are to me, and you can’t change it!” pwned in the face.. no joke
It’s really easy to gaze on His face. And ask who He is. Because.. He always shows up! And it’s easy to ask Him what I mean to Him.. how I ravish His heart — but it’s hard for that to TAKE ROOT into my spirit. And it’s hard to focus on myself. Don’t i need to just move past these issues, so i can just go into the things on Gods heart for the nations? hahaha but to Him.. those issues, those things that jade my heart matter to Him.. I matter to Him. It’s just EASIER to hear what the Lord has to say about the person that’s sitting next to me – or something/someone I’m just thinking/praying for. To be apart of a global movement of prayer and worship. HAHA but little old me.. ME? me.
I feel like I’m taking a million steps backward.. like didn’t we already go through this? I’ve feel like i’ve come a looong way. How else am i able to pray in POWER and AUTHORITY? I can’t do it unless I know the Father who I’m tapping into.. but sonship. HAHA Not just knowing a Father who can do it (which is ALWAYS IMPORTANT, ALWAYS), but knowing who i am as a son. Not just His thoughts towards me (which is ALWAYS IMPORTANT TOO, ALWAYS).. but who i am and was made to be. That being made known through my body, my words, my actions, my thoughts — HUMDEEDUM.
why the blog title. someone was speaking to me today about how they feel like i’m going to learn about who i am. i was like wigggawhhhhat. girl, i’m done with that. i’m soooo anointed, and my prayers are really powerful because I’m tight with jesus.. HAHAH. I was so offended.. i thought about it more tho.. if i would stand.. and TAKE ROOT in that identity. not just stand in it when I need to, but just LIVE as if it was mine — HIGHER PLACES.
i wish that wasn’t how it was tho.. haha. what offended me the most was my own thoughts of what it might have implied. disqualifying my “qualifications” — my crazy encounters, my love for jesus, my prayers, my giftings. but like i said, i thought about it more.. and i’m not going backwards — this is just what it looks like to go deeper.
